SHEBOYGAN, WI – After an exasperating night caps-lock screaming at fans and bloggers, local man Frank “Basquiat of the Trade Machine” Conlon, 32, completed a labyrinthine trade scenario that would make the Milwaukee Bucks a championship contender, leave all trade partners satisfied, and throw shade at his haters.
“I was having real problems trying to move Monta Ellis, but then it dawned on me, ‘trade exception, bro,’” said Conlon as he badgered the Bucks twitter account for GM John Hammond’s contact information.
The hypothetical trade was the end result of a four-hour argument originating on Twitter.
“No one had an answer when I unveiled this masterpiece and asked ‘who would say no to this trade?’” said Conlon, “I celebrated by sending people some really hostile messages.”
When asked who would say no to that trade, Conlon’s wife replied, “Houston.”
At press time, Conlon has not received any NBA front office job offers.