You know, often I find myself talking to people and wondering if they have any idea what I’m saying.  It’s not so much that I talk with an accent or too fast (I do that, but not always), but I really use a lot of slang.  Especially when I’m talking about basketball.  When I write about basketball I try and keep it more simple, but I’m sure there are times when I’m losing people with certain words or phrases.

So today I came up with an idea to solve that problem: a glossary of terms.  Anything I think may be confusing or easy to misinterpret I’m going to throw on here for the masses.  Comment on a post if you think I should add anything that I haven’t already.  Now that I’ve got this list be prepared for me to use more words that you won’t know and I’ll be able to throw on here because I think they are fun.

Jacker: A player who shoots and shoots … and shoots … and shoots.  A jacker will come down on a fast break and pull-up for a three.  A jacker will take on entire armies by himself if it means he gets to shoot at the end of it.  A jacker has no conscience or soul on the basketball court.  Jackers can develop their games and eventually become just shoot first players (see: Jackson, Stephen) but usually end up alienating teammates and constantly being the least liked player on the team (see: Davis, Ricky).

“Kind of a Chauncey Billups like combo guard”: This is how I’ve described every guard over 6′3 that can slide over and play the point guard every now and then.  Every one of these guards should be watching tapes of Billups all day every day if they are really serious about learning the point guard position.  90% of the time that a player is described as “having good size for a point guard” or being “a two with point guard skills” they should just focus on being a two.  It almost never works out, except in the case of Chauncey Billups.

Mid-level exception: In a good basketball economy, the mid-level exception is the exorbitant amount of money spent on the Jerome James, Eddie Robinson, DeSegana Diop and a collection of other stiffs receive.  The deal must fall between one and five years and can be split between players if a team decides not to waste it’s money on one stiff.  The maximum amount a player can receive is the NBA’s average salary for that year, with eight percent raises for each of the following years.  Exceptions are exceptions because they’re used when teams are over the salary cap.  If you’re under the cap you don’t need an exception, you just use your cap room.

The simplest explanation of the mid-level is the amount of money people assumed Ramon Sessions would be able to get this summer before realizing the economy is still in the tank and no one wants to take on money before next year’s supposed free agent bonanza/salary cap apocalypse.  If you want a more thorough understanding of the mid-level and other exceptions click here and be ready to learn.

Pace: In it’s most simplistic terms pace is merely a measure of how fast something is happening.  When it comes to basketball, pace is now a measure of how many possessions a team has per 48 minutes of playing.  As a reference, the Phoenix Suns of 2005-06 had a pace factor of 95.8 and averaged over 108 points per game.  The 2008-09 Knicks had a pace factor of  96.7 and averaged roughly 105 points per game.  It’s one thing to run fast, it’s another thing to convert.

PER: Short for Player Efficiency Rating, it’s the tool we’ve all apparently universally agreed is the best for measuring a player’s productivity.  Birthed by statistical guru John Hollinger of ESPN.com, PER was/is more difficult to figure out than E=MC2.  Hollinger has admitted it’s a little lacking in defensive formulation, but I’m sure it will be developed.  I love it.

Swag/Swagger: Short explanation?  Confidence plus rap music. Longer explanation?  Swag has developed throughout the years, it was not always what it is now.  Rap music seems to influence current swagger as much as jazz and R&B influenced past swaggerers.  Walt Frazier had crazy swag and he was never apart of a rap battle (at least that I’ve heard).  Certain players ooze confidence when they play and certain players ooze confidence and aren’t afraid to tell everyone about it.  Gilbert Arenas circa 2004 is the epitome of the current definition of swag.

Trap Game: The trap game is simple.  Let’s say you have a team that’s been hot, really hot, like let’s say 15-2 over their last 17 games hot.  And there were some pretty good wins in that 15, like recent ones over Denver, in Denver nonetheless, and at home against a possible playoff opponent in Atlanta.  There are some tough games coming up too, like the one against another team fighting for playoff positioning in the conference.  But there’s a game before the schedule toughens up.  A game against a team languishing near the bottom of the conference, a team that hasn’t performed up to expectations and is caught in some sort of purgatory, not super bad, but without much of a future.  They come out sluggish and look like they weren’t completely ready for this team and … they blow it.

Whips/Whippers: Has to do with dribbling ability and using it to embarrass an opponent, usually resulting in an easy basket but sometimes resulting in a dance move.  Most commonly used in sentences like, “Ridnour gave him the whippers and he didn’t want to see it,” or “Ridnour whipped him up nasty.”  I used Luke Ridnour as an example because he was actually never apart of a sentence in 2008-09 that involved him leaving someone in the dust due to his incredible handle, so I thought I’d be nice here.